New layout

AGAIN. I was told my previous blog layout was not viewable to some people. I thought I'd go for something different this time. I find it a little girly but its clean and simple. Mm, change is good I guess.

I got this in an email hahaha.

Why beer is better than women

You can enjoy a beer all month.
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
When beer goes flat you toss it out.
Beer is never late.
HANGOVERS go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You can have a beer in public.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
Beer always comes in multiples of six.
You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.
A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves
you thirsty.
When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn't get cramps.
Beer doesn't have a mother.
Beer doesn't have morals.
Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
Beer doesn't demand legality.
Beer is never overweight.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
Beer never changes its mind.
Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
Beer never asks you to change the station.
Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Beer is always easy to pick up.
Big, fat beers are nice to have.
Beer doesn't pout or play games.
Beer NEVER says no.
Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
Beer doesn't wear a bra.
Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
Beer doesn't live with its mother.
Beer doesn't blow you off.
Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
Beer doesn't mind football season.
A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials
with babies are "cute".

Till then.

"Bloggers"

I wonder why people enjoy flashing their obsessions? Oh you get that a lot on blogs. I like this.. I like that.. Point one, no one really cares if you like them, much less why. Its such a waste to know that 89% of my 17' screen gets pissed with many pointless essays that reflect your bone-dry personality, a large amount of unoccupied space of pixels and jumpy widgets that make your blog looking a lot more charming because you know it isn't. You never know if your readers have photo epilepsy. I get carpal tunnel just spending half my life scrolling down blogs. Do you know what's worse that reading a text with font the size of a microbe? Reading a product from an imbecile with font the size of a microbe that has zero basis. I feel conned just reading your stupid "blogs".

Are you trying to make a statement by announcing the world the kind of music you like? Geez people are just SOOOOOO territorial about everything! You put a damn music player on your 'blog' (with no STOP THE FUCKING SHIT button) just so you can piss on it before any of your friends do. It's like an indirect way of making a permanent engravement to all the other people out there that you're 'cool' because you listen to crap no one else does. Reality check, morons. No one really cares. Sorry to rain on your parade that plays rock/pop/kpop/jpop/hip hop/rap/techno and other genres I have no interest in finding out. People want to read a blog, not to be damned in hell.

I am, also, oddly surprised by how bloggers can describe every teensy detail of their lives in their blogs. I mean, just reading it feels like staring into an immaculate white shirt. They write about how 'emo' they are about their boyfriends and crap, how they enjoyed doing this and that and this and that at the mall with their friends, how they hate this bitch and that bitch but are too pussy to actually confront them, how pretty this, how cute that... oh damn the list just goes ON.

Its going to be five in the morning and my body feels like lead. I think its time to sleep, says mom.

Till then.

Poopy Hands

I actually really hate staying up late. I just can't help myself.

Well, I've been checking out other blog hosting sites. I'm getting really sick of blogger. So, I rather not bore you by listing out everything that's lousy about blogger which you should already know because I know many people uses this shitpile. So if you have a brain, use it. Let it not become a mass of a type of normally brown excrement. Saves me a lot of explanation.

Talking about brown excrement, I'm beginning to doubt the people managing this neighborhood I live in is doing nothing but suck on lollies all day. Why? They allow dogs to walk around the park and we ALL know dogs like to leave a little present behind. They're also very smart, hiding it somewhere between tall, uncut weeds, next to a pile of mud of the same colour.

Before I persist, let me thank the universe for allowing such unfortunate events drop in my hands.

Literally.

I kicked the soccer ball towards my brother. His Kate Moss legs couldn't keep up with the velocity of the ball that suffered my power kick and the ball went rolling into some overgrown weeds. I ran after it and picked it up only to know my fingers grazed across a soft textured, sort of doughy, matter. It could only be two things; mud or crap. I crossed my fingers, PRAYING that it wasn't the latter. But well, it wasn't a good day. No. The universe has its way of putting shit in my hands. Thanks.

It doesn't matter what you believe in. Master Chief has explained it all. Epic video about the immense universe and God. LOLOLOLOL.



Last night my brother decided to keep up with mah cool by staying up late and watching House with me. As expected, he got hungry.

Justin: Are you hungry?

Me: No, are you?

Justin: Quite... I feel like having McDonalds.

Me: I can't get McDonalds for you NOW.

Justin: I feel like having cheese.

Me: Do you want cheese? (Idk why I asked. Just to entertain his lengthy whining about food.)

Justin: Do you?

Me: Huh? No.

Justin: Then me too.

Me: Do you want cheese or not?

Evetually (after the LOOONG contemplating), we went downstairs to get some of his barbeque flavored cheese. It was two in the morning, which meant we had to tip our toes down the stairs and whisper.

Justin : We're acting like robbers. *snicker*

We are not acting like robbers. We just don't want to wake the whole house up!

Well, you can't blame him. He doesn't get lotsa after-midnight action, if you get what I mean.

I'm going to do some other shit until I fall asleep now.

Till then.