Ride his pulse and you forget

These past few weeks has been a shit-induced roller coaster ride.

Till then.

Desire

I'm running on a tightrope now and the last thing I care is about my balance. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I sit here, distraught, realizing my lungs were empty the whole while. The only thing I centered my focus on is the unbearable heat. I can feel every heartbeat, loud and barefaced. I lay on your bed, under the covers. I feel ever most safe but yet still so vulnerable, from the only thing that could break the doors down. I fixate all my senses on you. You know things I don't. I touch your hand, you barely noticed. I can imagine the wind taking me to places I don't want to go. You look at me under those eyelashes and I feel uncertain to what you may find behind my eyes. The things I want you never to know. I place my hand on your shoulder in fear I may break and fall. I touch your face, so soft. I lay here beside you, breathing the moment in. For the moment, I'll sleep alright in the infinite cold. I can't tell if I am happy or troubled. The emotions are like angry waves hugging the shore one after another inside of me.

She said she'll wait. But she wont wait forever.

"Bloggers"

I wonder why people enjoy flashing their obsessions? Oh you get that a lot on blogs. I like this.. I like that.. Point one, no one really cares if you like them, much less why. Its such a waste to know that 89% of my 17' screen gets pissed with many pointless essays that reflect your bone-dry personality, a large amount of unoccupied space of pixels and jumpy widgets that make your blog looking a lot more charming because you know it isn't. You never know if your readers have photo epilepsy. I get carpal tunnel just spending half my life scrolling down blogs. Do you know what's worse that reading a text with font the size of a microbe? Reading a product from an imbecile with font the size of a microbe that has zero basis. I feel conned just reading your stupid "blogs".

Are you trying to make a statement by announcing the world the kind of music you like? Geez people are just SOOOOOO territorial about everything! You put a damn music player on your 'blog' (with no STOP THE FUCKING SHIT button) just so you can piss on it before any of your friends do. It's like an indirect way of making a permanent engravement to all the other people out there that you're 'cool' because you listen to crap no one else does. Reality check, morons. No one really cares. Sorry to rain on your parade that plays rock/pop/kpop/jpop/hip hop/rap/techno and other genres I have no interest in finding out. People want to read a blog, not to be damned in hell.

I am, also, oddly surprised by how bloggers can describe every teensy detail of their lives in their blogs. I mean, just reading it feels like staring into an immaculate white shirt. They write about how 'emo' they are about their boyfriends and crap, how they enjoyed doing this and that and this and that at the mall with their friends, how they hate this bitch and that bitch but are too pussy to actually confront them, how pretty this, how cute that... oh damn the list just goes ON.

Its going to be five in the morning and my body feels like lead. I think its time to sleep, says mom.

Till then.

I Hate Titles

It's half past two in the morning and I feel so... mentally disoriented. I've been watching lotsa movies this week. Three, to be exact actually. Thursday, I watched 2012. The movie was great. Gives you a clue about how you're about to die and shit. It kinda sucks. I have to admit I cried like a bitch. So I was sitting in between my aunt and a stranger and strangely, we ALL had the same reaction at certain scenes. Kinda odd. I was all 'who the hell are you man? why are you doing what I'm doing? :S'

While we were on our way home we saw this little red Kancil ahead of us with those car signboard shit hanging on the back that says 'I might be small, but I'm fast!' We were all thinking 'OKAY BITCH LETS SEE HOW FAST YOU CAN GO HAHAHAAH!' Let me tell you that my aunt was driving a Lexus Harrier.

Holy hell, that stupid red Kancil almost smoked a three liter four-wheel drive. His pick up was insane! I was literally yelling in the car. Astound, bewildered, whatever you want to call it. Too bad after the junction, he was stopped by a roadblock up ahead. :P

On Friday, I watched The Fourth Kind and The Time Traveler's Wife. Okay, first of all, after I watching The Fourth Kind, I'm fucking disturbed. God, religion, spirits, the unexplainable.. what if they were all connected? Extraterrestrial intelligences, aliens, UFOs. I'm out of my fucking mind. It's one of the reasons why I can't sleep right now. I just can't get the images and footage out from my head. Freaky shit. Watch it.

TTTW. The movie was just average. I mean, I've watched a lot of movies and this just isn't.. good. It has no substance. Doesn't affect you whatsoever. Don't watch.

I'm not really in the mood to blog but I figured I had to write it down before I forget. I know, I know. Who does that right? Well, this post was supposed to be awesome.. but I don't feel like entertaining you people at this late hour. Too bad I guess. When you're discombobulated, sleep deprived and pissed, productivity doesn't happen.

Till then.