March 29, 2010

Desire

I'm running on a tightrope now and the last thing I care is about my balance. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing. I sit here, distraught, realizing my lungs were empty the whole while. The only thing I centered my focus on is the unbearable heat. I can feel every heartbeat, loud and barefaced. I lay on your bed, under the covers. I feel ever most safe but yet still so vulnerable, from the only thing that could break the doors down. I fixate all my senses on you. You know things I don't. I touch your hand, you barely noticed. I can imagine the wind taking me to places I don't want to go. You look at me under those eyelashes and I feel uncertain to what you may find behind my eyes. The things I want you never to know. I place my hand on your shoulder in fear I may break and fall. I touch your face, so soft. I lay here beside you, breathing the moment in. For the moment, I'll sleep alright in the infinite cold. I can't tell if I am happy or troubled. The emotions are like angry waves hugging the shore one after another inside of me.

She said she'll wait. But she wont wait forever.

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