February 28, 2010
February 27, 2010
Why beer is better than women
Beer stains wash out.
You don't have to wine and dine a beer.
Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car.
When beer goes flat you toss it out.
Beer is never late.
HANGOVERS go away.
A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer.
Beer labels come off without a fight.
When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer.
Beer never has a headache.
After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime.
A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath.
If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head.
You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty.
You can share a beer with your friends.
You can have a beer in public.
A frigid beer is a good beer.
You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good.
Beer always comes in multiples of six.
You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer.
After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than
dumping the empty bottle.
A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves
When your beer is gone, you just pop another.
You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod.
Beer looks the same in the morning.
Beer doesn't look you up in a month.
Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in.
Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids.
Beer doesn't get cramps.
Beer doesn't have a mother.
Beer doesn't have morals.
Beer doesn't go crazy once a month.
Beer always listens and never argues.
Beer labels don't go out of style every year.
Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles.
Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet.
Beer doesn't demand legality.
Beer is never overweight.
If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony.
Beer won't run off with your credit cards.
Beer doesn't have a lawyer.
Beer doesn't need much closet space.
Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive.
Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
Beer never changes its mind.
Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
Beer never asks you to change the station.
Beer doesn't make you go shopping.
Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
Beer is always easy to pick up.
Big, fat beers are nice to have.
Beer doesn't pout or play games.
Beer NEVER says no.
Beer never complains when you take it somewhere.
Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers.
Beer doesn't wear a bra.
Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity.
Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper.
Beer doesn't live with its mother.
Beer doesn't blow you off.
Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
Beer doesn't mind football season.
A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
A beer doesn't give a fuck if you keep a bunch of other beers around.
A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials
with babies are "cute".
February 26, 2010
I want all of you to meet this supercentenarian named Elizabeth Bolden. She was born on 15 August 1890 and passed away on 11th December 2006, which makes her 116 years and 118days old. Sure, not the oldest person ever but here is why she really fascinates me:-
"Lizzie married Lewis Bolden circa 1908 and their first child, a son named Ezell, was born on September 21st 1909. She had seven children in total, only two of whom were still alive at the time of her death in 2006.
In addition to Lizzie’s seven children she had 40 grand-children, 75 great grand-children, 150 great-great grand-children, 220 great-great-great grand-children and 75 great-great-great-great grand-children. Geez, imagine Christmas at granny’s house."
This is Jeanne Calment. 21st February 1875 – 4th August 1997 Age: 122 years 164 days
What's incredible is that Calment met Vincent Van Gogh in 1888 when he came to her father’s shop to buy some paint and pencils. She described him as dirty, badly dressed and disagreeable. She remembers this visit clearly along with watching the Eiffel tower being built.
She was the last person living to have personally met the artist.She smoked right up until she was 117. Calment ascribed her longevity and youthful looks to olive oil. She rubbed it on her skin, drank it and used it in cooking. She enjoyed port wine and ate almost one kilogram (2.2lbs) of chocolate per week.At age 85 Jeanne took up fencing and at age 100 she was still riding a bicycle.
Yeah I don't know why I'm blogging about old people. Much less read about them. I just find them incredible interesting. A granny that can smoke up to a right age of 100 can beat superman's tight ass anyday.
February 9, 2010
I remember how I met you. I remember what you wore. Or at least, what you didn't wear. I remember trying not to laugh at how all the girls were swooning over you and how you were oblivious to it. I introduced myself while trying to keep it cool. I remember the first time we went out. I had to spend the whole night untangling her nerves the night before. It was at KLCC, and we watched Twilight. There wasn't many choices on the movies but since you opted for it, I watched it anyway. Even though I've already watch it twice before that. I remember not telling you that. I remember where we went after that. Dome Cafe, where I ordered Earl Grey because... I've never really tasted Earl Grey before. I enjoyed listening to you, your stories and your views. I remember meeting your mom for the first time, in Isetan. I remember how you were trying to reach her, but your phone was whacked so you used mine even when your gigantic fingers couldn't press the keys. Yeah, those were the days. The days where there were only three of us.
I remember the second movie we watched; Australia. I wanted to watch it because Hugh Jackman stars in it. I remember how you laughed when I cried or how you wont stop throwing popcorn at me. I remember crashing a Christmas party. Though the part where some girls were crying for you in the pool was a little unexpected, I enjoyed myself otherwise. I remember the gift you got for me. I remember Patrick and company with their wine in the pool. I remember the stupid things all of us did after that. Yeah, very stupid.
Things started to change. I couldn't keep in contact much because I had school and I lived so far away. Things started happening and before I knew it, the three of us turned into two plus one. I really didn't mind. Not even a little but I remember how it turned out so disastrous later on. It was nice to know you had my back. It was nice to have things all back to normal. Well, what's close to normal, at least I remember how you'll rant about her friends in their short short booty shorts. We used to talk everyday, then it was just every week. We just exchanged simple hellos continued on. Yeah, things were different.
Then you got to know her. And you got to know them. And you changed. I remember the anger I felt, though now I think its rather stupid. Before I knew it, you were hanging out with them almost every week. They changed you and somehow, just a small part of me felt at lost. You weren't the same person anymore. I remember the other night, we played 20q's and maybe we said a little more that we should. I remember the last time you called. And I remember the last time I called you.
I remember the things you said. I remember my disappointment. I remember getting over it too because when I think about it, its so selfish of me to expect anything more. Maybe I just can't accept the fact that you've changed. You're just this person I don't know anymore. I called because I was concerned. Not a word from you I have heard in a little more than a month. The worst came into my head, but obviously I denied it. I wanted to tell you the bad thoughts I had in my head about you. I wanted you to know how much I hated your stupid change. But I didn't tell you and I guess you'll never know. You know how they say you'll realise when your friends change? Well it doesn't work for me. Change has a way of waltzing up to me and punching me right in the face.I hope you enjoy their company.
February 3, 2010
I hope you do.
I hate corn flakes. It tastes like cardboard. They even included two strawberries there so it doesn't look like shit.
I also like Koko Krunch because.. well just look at the spelling. Koko Krunch lol. Crunch is spelled with a damn K. Has a special ring to it. My favorite part is when it turns the milk chocolate. It's like magic in a box. Koko Krunch also have this weird shape that looks similar to a concave lens. Didn't like to put it in my mouth but it turns the damn milk chocolate. Need I mention I love chocolate milk?
I wrote a complain letter to Nestle, stating that Koko Krunch is a product of straight-up racism and they came up with Koko Krunch Duo. Which makes it tastes gay. Lol, jk.
So, just the other day I was at the supermarket, picking out cereal. Honey Stars or Koko Krunch. I literally got stares from those yoga bitches flinging their diet cereals in my face. I was choosing between Honey Stars and Koko Krunch, yet the other healthy cereals sitting on the shelf were silently mocking me. Friggin' grains with raisins and other thingamajigs in there. I eventually took Froot Loops. Lol, yeah I know the whole thing about Froot Loops are gay Cheerios or something but we aint got no cheerios here. The amount of sugar in froot loops, if consumed daily, does things to your head man.
But suuuuuuuuuuuugaar, 'tis geewd.
February 2, 2010
To Hanson: See. Not everyone is granted the luxury of leaving the house chores to someone else. :P
I've not been ranting very often these days because there is literally too many things I want to damn to hell. Like, during my PMR year, I don't remember being so worked up. And its only the beginning of the year. Way to enter the decade..
Yes. I'm pissed a lot these days. A LOT. Because I don't get to do the shit I want to do. Like, read something other than textbooks or take dancing classes.
No, I don't dance lol. Can't dance for shit neither.
I AM LEARNING PHYSICS IN BAHASA MALAYSIA YAAAAAAAY ME!!11!
Stupid teacher can't teach for shit!