August 30, 2009
I almost didn't want to warn you that it might make you gag, but I pity you people so... yeah. You will probably barf your bowels out.
Watch if you have the BALLS!
August 22, 2009
August 19, 2009
I was watching Oprah last night. I realized; everytime I flick through Hallmark, it's always Oprah. And she's always around fat people. I don't know if it's just me, but every Oprah episode I watch involves fat people. It's like she has this sick fascination with them. I mean, yah everyone knows she's a little on the chubby side. Maybe she just wants to surround herself with obese teenagers just to make herself feel a little better.
I'm sure watching them cry their eyes out on national television makes you feel all warm and cozy inside, Oprah.
When I was in Bangkok, I realized something as well. Cab drivers there are damn anal with their gas. I mean, just go to any gas station. Even if there is a ridiculously long line there, they'll just queue up, eager to feed their hungry tanks. It's like, all hell will break lose if they don't get their precious gas. Anal. Anal. Anaaaal. No wonder we're short on natural resources.
August 17, 2009
August 16, 2009
1.) Discovery Channel uses white people to reenact Asians, which I think is hilarious. They make all Asian men look like noobs.
2.) The coolest show on History Channel is The Universe.
3.) There are too many ads on how : WHITE SKIN MAKES YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! BUY NIVEA WHITENING LOTION! :D
Yeah, about number 3, there are just TOO many. I flick from one channel to another and every ten minutes I hear how brighter, whiter skin makes you look beautiful.
So what about them people with skin that isn't white? Aren't they beautiful as well? Apparantly not. I don't remember what product was this from but they said it can help 'reduce the yellowish complexion'. Shows how you people are so ashamed to be Asian. Tsk tsk. I don't mind if you're jaundice. That's a bad reason to be yellow.
But c'mon people. Feeling ugly? No problem! Just slap some whitening cream on your face.
They make it sound so wrong to be any other colour than white. Racism. I laugh at you shallow minded people.
The advertistments are trying to say:
"For the ugly people with low self esteem."
It's just that, they don't want to hurt your feelings so you will buy their products. :D
Look at that packaging. 'Whitening Treatment Cream'. Sounds like anyone who has skin any other colour than white have some disease.
So, if the idiot box tells you that being tan and brown is the new 'beautiful', would you actually throw all your whitening products and start getting fake tans?
August 15, 2009
Q: If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theismann. Former NFL football quarterback. Hahah, point proven, Joe.
Excuses for skipping work:
1. My kid has a rash all over, and the vet closes early today.
2. I think I left the refrigerator on.
3. I am going on a date with a sadomasochistic necrophile.
4. I've... I.. I am.. I'm not.. I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS!
6. I've got three therapy sessions today.
7. I'm going to my wife's engagement party.
8. A friend of mine is dying and I have to go to the hospital.
9. A friend of mine is dead and I have to go to the funeral parlor.
10. A friend of mine is reincarnating and I have to go to the zoo.
11. I'm getting married, and I have to get an AIDS test.
12. I'm getting married, and I have to figure out with whom.
Some people are just bad liars.
August 14, 2009
Yeah. That's what everyone says about everything.
Not ready for a test : OMG.
Found out your boyfriend cheated : OMG.
Saw some awesome pair of shoes : OMG.
Finally realized that you are ugly : OMG. :(
Can't shit : OMG.
I mean, who came up with this phrase? Sheesh.
Yup, so, let's see. There really isn't anything much to blog about. It's because I'm having some exam. Yeah. Exam. Why would anyone one to blog about exams?
No one gives a shit if you're not ready.
Nobody really cares if you plan to screw it.
No one would actually encourage you to 'do your best! :D' when you type out some pathetic, self-pity post about how stressed you are.
So, basically, no one really cares about you. Aww, boohoo. Sad. :(
Here's something random:
I'm sitting in the kitchen, just got back from school with my uniform and whatnot. Food is on the table, smelling great. I feel good. I always feel good around food. It's some kind of noodles them chinese people call 'yee mee'. Great tasting. I picked up my chopstick. And my brother runs down naked. I'm pretty sure I don't have to elaborate on that. He runs into the kitchen like some diseased monkey and yells 'I NEED TO SHIT'.
I lost my appetite completely. First, the visual. Second, the bathroom was next to the kitchen.
Here's another thing random:
MASTUR CHI3F RULEZZ LOLOLOLOLOL!
August 9, 2009
August 4, 2009
That reminds me... The cool creature on my banner? You see that? Yes, the very constipated looking one. It's not a duck. It's a platypus. Do you wanna know where to find one?
In. The. Mirror.
One, I'm not that great with the ocean. It's big. Big things normally can crush the life out of you without even putting effort into it.
Secondly, I'm worse with insects.
There is a very tiny mosquito buzzing around my head for about an hour now. I hate it because it's so small and yet so deadly. I CANT KILL IT. ARGH.
It's not hacking my brains out or whatever but it's mocking me. It KNOWS I can't catch it. And it's mocking me. Idiot mosquitoes. We don't need them like we need bees. I don't kill bees. I kill mosquitoes. Like how Hitler kills people.
August 2, 2009
LOLOLOLOLOL. You people should watch Arby and the Cheif. Some funny crapzhzhzhz.
Went to the clinic yesterday. Came home and I wuz like 'oh shitz, so many of them pillz to take. Thatz crazy, yo.'
I took a nap yesterdayz, around like 2pm man? When I woke up, I wuz all 'oh shitz, it's already friggin' 5 man. Why teh heck did I sleep so long? Oh cowshitz.'
August 1, 2009
I'm trying to sweat myself healthy again.