December 30, 2009

His way of "Are you OK?"

Yesterday, I had a terrible headache. The kind where your head wants to split open. I was on the bed, holding my poor head in agony. Justin saw me.

Me : My head hurts!
Justin : ... Can you dance?
Me : WHAT?

So yeah Merry Christmas, Happy New Year bla bla, the usual.

Till then.

December 15, 2009


Aaaaarrr hunching over a monopoly board for four hours, playing with two rambunctious little boys (also known as brother and his friend) really takes a toll on your neck. Hah, no I'm not a pedophile.

I changed my layout (again) because I was tinkering with the codes for two blogs at five in the morning and I messed up. I lost the codes for everything and I was so bloody sick of looking for another layout online because its either 'emo black girl' layout, 'super pink girl layout' or some boy band on it. How do you like zis one? :D

I enjoy my big-ass tagboard. It makes yelling at people a lot more fun.

Till then.

December 13, 2009


I wonder why people enjoy flashing their obsessions? Oh you get that a lot on blogs. I like this.. I like that.. Point one, no one really cares if you like them, much less why. Its such a waste to know that 89% of my 17' screen gets pissed with many pointless essays that reflect your bone-dry personality, a large amount of unoccupied space of pixels and jumpy widgets that make your blog looking a lot more charming because you know it isn't. You never know if your readers have photo epilepsy. I get carpal tunnel just spending half my life scrolling down blogs. Do you know what's worse that reading a text with font the size of a microbe? Reading a product from an imbecile with font the size of a microbe that has zero basis. I feel conned just reading your stupid "blogs".

Are you trying to make a statement by announcing the world the kind of music you like? Geez people are just SOOOOOO territorial about everything! You put a damn music player on your 'blog' (with no STOP THE FUCKING SHIT button) just so you can piss on it before any of your friends do. It's like an indirect way of making a permanent engravement to all the other people out there that you're 'cool' because you listen to crap no one else does. Reality check, morons. No one really cares. Sorry to rain on your parade that plays rock/pop/kpop/jpop/hip hop/rap/techno and other genres I have no interest in finding out. People want to read a blog, not to be damned in hell.

I am, also, oddly surprised by how bloggers can describe every teensy detail of their lives in their blogs. I mean, just reading it feels like staring into an immaculate white shirt. They write about how 'emo' they are about their boyfriends and crap, how they enjoyed doing this and that and this and that at the mall with their friends, how they hate this bitch and that bitch but are too pussy to actually confront them, how pretty this, how cute that... oh damn the list just goes ON.

Its going to be five in the morning and my body feels like lead. I think its time to sleep, says mom.

Till then.

December 10, 2009

Poopy Hands

I actually really hate staying up late. I just can't help myself.

Well, I've been checking out other blog hosting sites. I'm getting really sick of blogger. So, I rather not bore you by listing out everything that's lousy about blogger which you should already know because I know many people uses this shitpile. So if you have a brain, use it. Let it not become a mass of a type of normally brown excrement. Saves me a lot of explanation.

Talking about brown excrement, I'm beginning to doubt the people managing this neighborhood I live in is doing nothing but suck on lollies all day. Why? They allow dogs to walk around the park and we ALL know dogs like to leave a little present behind. They're also very smart, hiding it somewhere between tall, uncut weeds, next to a pile of mud of the same colour.

Before I persist, let me thank the universe for allowing such unfortunate events drop in my hands.


I kicked the soccer ball towards my brother. His Kate Moss legs couldn't keep up with the velocity of the ball that suffered my power kick and the ball went rolling into some overgrown weeds. I ran after it and picked it up only to know my fingers grazed across a soft textured, sort of doughy, matter. It could only be two things; mud or crap. I crossed my fingers, PRAYING that it wasn't the latter. But well, it wasn't a good day. No. The universe has its way of putting shit in my hands. Thanks.

It doesn't matter what you believe in. Master Chief has explained it all. Epic video about the immense universe and God. LOLOLOLOL.

Last night my brother decided to keep up with mah cool by staying up late and watching House with me. As expected, he got hungry.

Justin: Are you hungry?

Me: No, are you?

Justin: Quite... I feel like having McDonalds.

Me: I can't get McDonalds for you NOW.

Justin: I feel like having cheese.

Me: Do you want cheese? (Idk why I asked. Just to entertain his lengthy whining about food.)

Justin: Do you?

Me: Huh? No.

Justin: Then me too.

Me: Do you want cheese or not?

Evetually (after the LOOONG contemplating), we went downstairs to get some of his barbeque flavored cheese. It was two in the morning, which meant we had to tip our toes down the stairs and whisper.

Justin : We're acting like robbers. *snicker*

We are not acting like robbers. We just don't want to wake the whole house up!

Well, you can't blame him. He doesn't get lotsa after-midnight action, if you get what I mean.

I'm going to do some other shit until I fall asleep now.

Till then.

November 30, 2009


Have you guys watched Biggest Loser Asia? I did. I watched the auditions while eating a big bowl of noodles. Not a very good idea.

MTV. Now I know EVERYONE has laid there eyes on this pathetic crap they call a channel with music videos and shit. You've got reality shows like 'The Hills' and 'Teen Cribs' and more I don't even care to know about. What I know is that MTV is fueled by a bunch of crackpots. Everyone on MTV is a crackpot. MTV loves rich children. They can't get enough of them. You've got shows that allow kids with rubber band banks flaunting their million dollar homes and cars. Got no talent? That's okay! Go get a show on MTV, you'll be known as the idiot with money. They tape these kids smoking, drinking, partying and shit like they're so ghetto. It just shows how messed up the society is these days. 16 year old spoiled brats get Bentleys for their birthday, fuck their parents up because they don't get the party planning right and make a drama out of EVERYTHING. I don't know if they just got a truckload of bad influences or their parents just don't care enough to fix their retarded way of raising a child. I think it's the latter.

I don't know what 'The Hills' is mainly about but I know it's just a bunch of 20-something-year-olds acting like hormonal teenagers, just with excessive alcohol and sex. They go on screen and make complete idiots out of themselves. MTV is responsible for making shallow fuckbrains even more famous with their constant whining about life and/or Chewbacca-voice singing; something we need less of in this world. I barely even understand why its categorized under 'entertainment' when it's just too painful to watch.

I just wanted to watch TV one day. A simple need for a simple person but MTV has to screw it up by promoting Paris Hilton's reality show "Paris Hilton : My New BFF" I've watched a lot of bad shows but this takes the cake. This is the most miserable show I have ever known to exist in the history of television. Why? Why is it even on air? Why doesn't anyone realize this blasphemy? Narcissist Princess Hilton gets about a hundred girls with 'potential' to line up and claw each others' faces off to be her new best friend. I'm not even exaggerating on the idiocy of the whole idea. This is me underplaying the show.

"I love Paris Hilton so much I want to be a her best friend" - some lifeless prick who just wants to kiss her ass.

It's just another publicity seeker slapper for all the girls that were on the show. It's okay Paris, stop trying so hard. We all know you're as dumb as a rock. No one is going to steal your thunder as no one can sing or dance or even talk like you. Hell, you even need to look for a friend through a tv show! You might get a brain hemorrhage.

The only benefit you achieve from watching MTV is to build your immunity against the vast majority of idiots in this world.

Before you leave, watch this video.

Till then.

November 23, 2009

Ugly Kids

I remember I had to walk from Sungei Wang all the way to Pavilion once. So, the route required us to walk pass a Maybank with a pretty spacey area around it. Yep, on that very sunny day, there were a crowd of maybe 40-50 kids in ugly checkered shirts and hideous accessories just sitting around and all I could think of at that moment was 'What in God's name are you people doing?' Pardon my curiosity but I really want to know. I mean, the sun was blazing because I felt like I was about to have a heat stroke just waiting for the little green man to appear on the traffic light. These kids were just sitting around in groups with their mp3s, under the sun, doing nothing.

But, I still had to cross the road, leaving my thoughts behind with them hip teenagers wasting away under the baking sun. I continued on into the shopping mall, minding my own business and all. Then I noticed a group of boys in very very tight pants. Geez, just looking at them made my legs hurt. Doesn't their crotch hurt when the walk? Because from what I observed, their pants look 3 times smaller than its actual size. Constriction to a whole new level. Kids these days with the clothes they wear. It's painful to even look. Its either too short, too tight or just plain ugly.

Besides attempting suicide in those pants, they wear their distasteful sunglasses that shields half their face. Indoors. WHAT THE HELL? The name itself gives you an idea WHEN and WHERE to wear it. SUN-glasses. Function? To protect your dainty eyes from the glaring SUN. Do you find that in a mall? NO. Question. Why do they do it? Are they just too daft to realize how vile they look? Do they intend to pick up some chicks? WHAT GIRL WOULD BE INTERESTED IF SHE CANT SEE YOUR BLOODY FACE? Doesn't help when you walk around like you're on drugs.

What I notice about these hip youngsters these days are their cool DSLRs around their puny necks. I was at the food court when I noticed this bunch. So I watched how they swing their cameras around with such 'swagger'. Hello children. What is a function of a camera? To take/snap pictures. What is a function of a camera to a half-baked teenager? It's an over-priced accessory.

When I see someone wearing crocs, I know immediately that fellow croc-wearer and I have nothing in common. An unusual impulse of rage fuels my body and I will feel like pushing fellow croc-wearer down, punch his face in and scream at his loathsome fashion sense. I was in the pharmacy today and I saw a little stand that holds these grotesque shoes. Wow, people actually dedicate space to sell pairs of shit for 130 bucks. It prevents bad odor and fungal growth. It also prevents you from being socially relevant. I wouldn't even want engage a conversation someone who looks like they have Miley Cyrus on their feet, much less go out with them. There are no words in the dictionary to describe the monstrosity of Crocs. All I know its synonyms are somewhere about repulsive, appalling, deformed and grotesque.

Burn this pair of shit with holes you call shoes.

I may not be Paris Hilton when it comes to fashion but at least I can differentiate between decent and straight-up ugly.

If you find yourself wearing crocs or practicing any of the above, please kill yourself, thank you.

Till then.

November 22, 2009

I Hate Titles

It's half past two in the morning and I feel so... mentally disoriented. I've been watching lotsa movies this week. Three, to be exact actually. Thursday, I watched 2012. The movie was great. Gives you a clue about how you're about to die and shit. It kinda sucks. I have to admit I cried like a bitch. So I was sitting in between my aunt and a stranger and strangely, we ALL had the same reaction at certain scenes. Kinda odd. I was all 'who the hell are you man? why are you doing what I'm doing? :S'

While we were on our way home we saw this little red Kancil ahead of us with those car signboard shit hanging on the back that says 'I might be small, but I'm fast!' We were all thinking 'OKAY BITCH LETS SEE HOW FAST YOU CAN GO HAHAHAAH!' Let me tell you that my aunt was driving a Lexus Harrier.

Holy hell, that stupid red Kancil almost smoked a three liter four-wheel drive. His pick up was insane! I was literally yelling in the car. Astound, bewildered, whatever you want to call it. Too bad after the junction, he was stopped by a roadblock up ahead. :P

On Friday, I watched The Fourth Kind and The Time Traveler's Wife. Okay, first of all, after I watching The Fourth Kind, I'm fucking disturbed. God, religion, spirits, the unexplainable.. what if they were all connected? Extraterrestrial intelligences, aliens, UFOs. I'm out of my fucking mind. It's one of the reasons why I can't sleep right now. I just can't get the images and footage out from my head. Freaky shit. Watch it.

TTTW. The movie was just average. I mean, I've watched a lot of movies and this just isn't.. good. It has no substance. Doesn't affect you whatsoever. Don't watch.

I'm not really in the mood to blog but I figured I had to write it down before I forget. I know, I know. Who does that right? Well, this post was supposed to be awesome.. but I don't feel like entertaining you people at this late hour. Too bad I guess. When you're discombobulated, sleep deprived and pissed, productivity doesn't happen.

Till then.

November 18, 2009

Wanna see a walking billboard for birth control pills?


November 17, 2009

My thumb has a huge hideous purple bruise because I did not consider the consequences of leaving a Nerf gun with mother.

It all started when my brother was gobsmacked by a Nerf commercial on television, he decided to get one himself. "ITS NERF, OR NOTHING!" So to the toy store it is. As usual, when you put a mother who showers her beautiful son with unconditional love and a noisy I-want-it-my-way-or-die son together, you get nothing but hasty, illogical decisions. As we entered the toy store, I walked around to examine the aisles. My brother, unlike me, dashes straight to the aisle that has big bold letters that spell N-E-R-F. Okay, he doesn't wanna consider other awesome toys, fine by me. I wasn't the one paying anyway. He wanted a gun which shoots dart and shit but he didn't know WHICH.

As usual, I was there to rant about how nasty those little contraptions are because I will normally be the target for my destructive younger brother that hates me because I frequently ask him to study. Not only that, in a year, hundreds of dollars will be spent just supplying him the rubber darts because children are just prone to losing small objects. "PICK UP YOUR TOYS!" doesn't apply to my brother unless you have a cane in hand. His lip started quivering. OH GREAT! He's crying! So I had to go on and on about how it's okay to choose whatever you like because children aren't supposed to be sad in a toy store.

Moving on, he chose the one which is meant for two Nerfheads. Who's gonna be the other Nerfhead that would entertain him so he wont cry? Why, me of course!

At first, I was reluctant to run around with a plastic gun shooting my brother down because I will always win, but eventually I gave in. I ran around the house with a plastic gun shooting my brother down.

"Don't shoot his head!" - Warning from my mother. But did you know how many times I got owned in the face because his aiming sucked balls? People, it does hurt when the impact of the dart collides with your face especially when it has a Velcro piece on the top of it.

"Hey ma, do y'wanna try?" I gave her my Nerf gun. BIG MISTAKE! She went into a shooting frenzy and took me down with her awesome shooting skillz paired with her evil, insipid laughter. I was in shock with her maniacal laughter ringing in my ears and it does hurt when you get shot by a rubber dart, especially when you expect it the least. So I ran, but I didn't know my mom was lady-Flash in disguise. I fell (like and awful noob) on the hard marble floor and somehow, my thumb connected with the floor first. So BAM! I have a retarded looking thumb and when I press the spacebar, feels like it's on fire.

Thanks a lot, Hasbro, for making my life hell. I blame you for my retarded purple left thumb.

Till then.

November 16, 2009

Imagine you're chilling in the car, watching the world go by inverted as you look through the tiny raindrops on your windscreen. Just at that very moment, you're not falling fast enough to break when you reach the ground.

I feel my font is a little too small for reading. I mean, if it annoys the heck out of me, I can only imagine what it does it you. Gonna fix it after I write this post.

Here's a bunch of random pics from Singapore. Singapore was great. If you plan to walk Orchard Road and Bugis Street, just remember to get some sleep if your flight is at 7:30 in the morning. We left for the airport at half past four in the morning. No sleep all night. No sleep in plane. I was a walking zombie by noon.

What a crack it is.

What's inside, you ask? Why, heaven is! I'm just kidding. It's actually fried frankfurter on a stick in mashed potato and gravy... heaven.

Fried Mars Balls. There are no words to comprehend my love for the genius who came up with this wonder.

I was at One Utama on Saturday, shopping with my mom. Basically, she did all the shopping while I helped my brother get in and out of his clothes in the fitting room. Oh man, need I mention how many times I got elbowed in the face by his iron elbow? Besides getting owned in the face, I got kicked repeatedly because he doesn't know how to fit his ginormous foot into his chucks. Thanks a bunch, brother.

TITZ FM. My kinda station! HAHAHAHA!

Till then.

November 13, 2009

Have you ever had an itch that cannot be located? It's as annoying as my previous post. Gosh, I feel like blowing myself up right now. GOH AWAY ITCH! BEGONE!

Yeah as everyone knows, today is the last day of the Form 3 year. Doesn't feel like much, y'know? When I come to think about it, I have this numbness towards everything. Everyone is all 'WOOOO HOLIDAYS!' and I make a mental note to not sit next to that person next year to spare myself from the never ending blabber of how awesome their break was. I know I sound like a cynic. Maybe cause I had one too many cups of milo. If I had to give my last ounce of gratitude to someone right now, it would probably be to Nestle. It just screws you in the brain. :D

At recess, I couldn't help but notice prom tickets were on sale. Pee Arr Oh Em. The most cliche and overrated event for high school students. It's that one night where you get to wear your pretty dress and dance around in your highest heels. C'mon, let's face it. Prom is just the only reason where couples get to play plastic Romeo and Juliet.

First of all, Juliet will spend week after week looking for that perfect prom dress. Why? To impress Romeo, of course. But that's just the surface. It's a fucking competition among the female species. They will use their perfectly manicured nails to claw their way to the top, which includes boring holes on the back of their peers with their horrid green eyes. There's just to many things to worry about! What if someone wore the same dress as you and she looked better? It would just be a major slap in the face, wouldn't it? In my experience, I've seen Juliets try incredibly hard to 'dress to impress'. They wear their dresses WAYY too short and their heels WAAAAY to high. Besides that, the more skin you shed, the more the glory. C'mon people, it's prom. Not a slutfest.

For those who DO dress appropriately, they ruin their night by trying to dance in those five-inch stiletto heels. Don't even get me started on the make up. They slap layers of crap on their face which makes them look like they had a massive botox overload. I'm sure most of you acknowledge the existence of fake eyelashes. DAMN. I hate those things. They make you look stupid and I'm being real honest right now. What's the point? They're fake, they look fake and everyone knows they are fake. If you think you're so ugly with minimal eyelash hair, stay home. I hate people. I hate crowds. I hate pretentious girls in short dresses and high heels wearing fake ugly eyelashes. I hate how they whine and gush about this stupid event. I hate how ugly people dress and not realizing it.

I'm not even going to get started on prom dates. So, still wanna ask me if I'm going? :D

Fuck prom. Fuck all you people who give a shit about prom. Fuck pretentious asian barbie dolls.

Till then.

November 6, 2009

What Malaysian Girls Like. (not in order)

1. Contact Lenses
I mean the ones where makes your pupil twice as big, resulting in a very cock-eyed look. I remember once, this girl was trying to make a serious statement about something to me but I couldn't see where she was looking. The whole time I was thinking to myself if she was talking to me because her huge eyes gave no direction whatsoever. Just. Huge. Eyeballs. Staring into blind space.

It's just sad.

2. Attention Grabbing Personal Messages
For example; 'I feel so saaaaad'. When they put this up, they have very high expectations from their BFF's to ask them why. If you don't, you''re off 'the list'. :)

3. Handsome KPop/JPop Boybands
Their cute. It doesn't matter how shitty their voices and dance moves are.

4. Size/Weight Comment
Whether about themselves or their long lost peers, it is a vital and compulsory statement to make.

"You lost weight la."

"NOOO!!1! I gained weight already! I need to diet" *insert pathetic sigh*

5. Sweet Sixteen

Never understood this. Never will.

6. Melodramatic Flings

Ahhhh yessss. Do I need to even elaborate on this?

7. Online Relationships
Of course, it's nothing like online dating. He's not a complete stranger if he's a mutual friend, right? Thing is, throughout their whole relationship, for example; 3 months (c'mon we all know it wont last longer than that) they will meet each other twice. Because in RL, 'it's too awkward'. It's easier to fake sincerity through IMs.

These days, if you call, you might be thought of as inconsiderate for calling at the wrong time just to ask that certain person where he/she is. The solution? Just leave a text. One thing I hate about it is when someone replies nothing but just an 'OK'. I mean, what the hell man? That's like 5-10 cents down the drain. And when theirs NOTHING to reply to, they get pissed.


9. Ironboard hair
It's a fucking competition.

10. Eyeliner Overload
Gotta make them eyes bigger! :)

11. Stalking Pretty Strangers
More like following their blog and envying over 'how nice her body is' and 'how cool her hair is when she ties it up'.

You don't even know her. Get a better hobby.

12. Putting The Camera Millimeters From Face
Oh yes. Facebook, Friendster, Myspace etc. etc. for lessons. OH. Remember to put it ABOVE eye level so you have the 'cute' effect! :)

Which brings me to...

13. Acting Cute
Adding a bunch of unnecessary 'nerhs' and 'mahs' just to make what they say a tad bit cuter. You know, so people don't pay attention to the illogical sense they make.

14. Being Different
It's ironic, how everyone tries to be different when they all end up the same at the end of the day.

15. Male Attention
If a girl complements her, she'll say 'Oh no-WAY! You are SOOO much prettier.'

If a BOY complements her, she'll blush, go home and announce it to all her envious peers. Here's a tip girl, just say 'thank you'.

16. Korean Dramas
Love Triangle, hot asian dudes, pretty innocent girls...
Oh. And someone has to die to add to the drama. :)

17. Adjusting The Contrast Levels Of Their Photos
Gotta hide them blemishes!

18. Shaving
Girls complain they have too much hair in all the wrong places and invests on shaving materials. You should be thankful you even have hair.

19. Beauty Regimes
Works best when you have a mate around to help you with that mask! Trust me, it's a ritual.

20. Anything Cute and Sweet
Strawberries, cupcakes, puppy dogs etc. etc.

21. Diet Coke
Gayest thing on the planet, sorry.

22. Being Discreet, But Isn't
Now, I will try to elaborate on this. When a guy asks 'Are you okay?' She says 'Fine'. In female language, it means 'I'm fucking depressed and I want you to ask me again'.

23. Blogging
I know, I know. I'm a frequent blogger too. What I mean is the blogging style. It's basically their space for them to announce their feelings indirectly for some sought after attention. Also, it's about how their blogs are fancier than others. :)

24. Taking Pictures
There's nothing wrong with it. It's just the way they scream in your face after they take the picture. "EW I LOOK DISGUSTING! DELETE IT!" And their hands go all NINJA SHURIKEN ACTION on your beloved camera.

25. Ang-Mohs
Admit it ladies.

26. Diets
Whether is health-wise or beauty-wise, you can find all kinds of it.

Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL Malaysian girls. Don't take it seriously. Unless I should add that in the list as well.

Till then.

November 5, 2009

Stayed home today.

Guess what kinda shit I found the other day?

Of all my life, 15 years of my beautiful life and beyond, I have never expected this. Of all contraptions in this god forsaken world... this idea comes around the corner of some over-imaginative mind.

At this moment, my emotions need to be sorted out about this.


1. If you ever find yourself stranded in the middle of nowhere with no public toilets in sight, this will come very much in handy.

2. Stuck in a traffic? Boys can relief into a plastic bottle. Girls? They NOW can relief into a plastic bottle with the help of the P-Mate.

3. Shopping during a Mega Sale in a mall so crowded, it will take AGES for you to inch and elbow your way to the toilet only to find your tiny bladder has to endure more 'holding it in' while you wait in that never ending line? Now, you can finish your business outside, for example, the parking lot, walk back in and buy that to-die-for dress for only half the price!


1. If you're on a date in a crowded restaurant with a not so clean toilet because you're boyfriend/date is too much of a douche bag to bring you somewhere classier, you can pull out your trusty P-Mate. Besides, who will enjoy a date if their bladder is screaming out at them? Thing is, if you're boyfriend finds you peeing while you are standing up...

He will have to leave you at the restaurant with the bill and go home to tell his mother that the girl he's been crushing on for months... is actually a man.

2. Say, you're at prom. Of course, no girl would want to carry a huge ass bag to prom, right? So they bring their cute sparkly clutches. How would the P-Mate fit in that? Improvise- you fold it.

Half way through the party, you realize you had one too many cups of punch and you desperately need to use the little girls room. The line is long because all the other girls need to do their primping for their 'first kiss', 'first dance', 'first prom queen moment' etc. etc.

Walk outside. You pull out your life (and bladder) saving P-Mate and start releasing. OH NO! Because you have folded the P-Mate that is made of paper and you have not been careful about people sitting on your sparkly clutch while you mingle with the hot dudes, they have HOLES in it! But too late, you already started peeing and your yellow liquid got on your hands and ruined your dress. :(

You were voted Prom Queen that night.

3. You're outside playing catch with your little brother. Your strained bladder sends an alarm call to your brain but you realize your house is too far away to leave your little brother alone with his sad ball. So you take your P-Mate out.

Brother: What's that?

You: My artificial penis.

You start peeing at some dark corner of the park where the trees will cover you from embarrassment. But what you didn't know is that while you're peeing, your brother was watching you because he's baffled by what an 'artificial penis' meant. You go home and your little brother announces to your family that you pee-ed with your fake penis. You father glares at you. Your mother brings you into 'the room' where only important talks and discussions among the family are held. She gives you lecture on exposing your innocent little brother to such unhealthy environments.

You're grounded for a year.

Should have just walked home and pee huh?

SEE HOW IT DAMAGES YOUR LIFE MORE THAN DO YOU GOOD? Just kidding. Okay okay I kinda got carried away writing the Cons. Still, anything can happen. :D

Talking about peeing, have you ever shuddered after you yellow your toilet water? Ever since I was young, I had the 'pee shivers'. So, just yesterday night, I shivered right after I pee-ed.

'Still there.' I decided to get to the bottom of this mysterious pee shivering condition.

So I asked Rachel about it. Luckily for us, we had Google! Here's a way to sum up what we found: -

One theory is that the autonomic nervous system (ANS) is the cause. When you have to pee you hold it in, the longer you wait the tougher it is to hold in. You ANS is sending the signals to your bladder and urethral sphincter to hold that pee in at all costs, when you finally do pee, your ANS allows the relaxation of the urethral sphincter and the flow to begin. This switch in the ANS is thought to be the cause of the shudder or pee shiver. The longer you hold it in the greater the pee shiver will be.

Note : If you don't know what your Autonomic Nervous System is, you should jump off a building. No, I'm just kidding. It controls your involuntary muscles, like your heart.

And here's a fun note. Well it's not exactly fun but it's funny:

This phenomenon can be a real health problem for some men: They can pass out at the urinal when their autonomic system cues a drop in blood pressure!

I feel sorry for any poor bastard that passes out in front of the urinal in the men's bathroom. Damn.

I'm starving. Time for lunch.

Till then.

November 3, 2009

Got tagged.

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth?


Where were you last night?
At home in my room.

What is today's date?
3rd November two-thousand-nine.

Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?

Anyone crushing on you?
Wrong person to ask, pal.

What is your relationship status?
I'm dating a rock. What does that tell you?

Has anyone ever sang to you?
Yeap. :)

Has anyone ever given you roses?
Nope. :)

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?

Who do you text the most?
I don't text very often these days.

How do you make your money?
I go to school.

First person to text today?
Maxis. :(

What is your favorite color?

What color are your eyes?
Black? Blackish-brown? Black at the rim, brown in the middle?

How tall are you?
This is a touchy issue. :\

Tall enough, I guess.

Alex will not agree.

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?
Hahaha Bryant at 2 in the morning yesterday. Stoopid. :P

Do you like your parents?

Do you secretly like someone?
No, cos it's not much of a secret anymore.

Why did your last relationship end?

Never been in one.

Who was the last person you said you loved on the phone?
Mommeeee. :D

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I look more like... my aunt.

How long does it take you to shower?
Half an hour tops.

Can you do splits?

Are you flexible?
Not reallyy...

What did you do on New Years Eve?
I don't remember. I think I slept through countdown. Oh well.

Was your mom there?
I don't remember.

Can you speak any other language than English?
Yes, of course. SATU MALAYSIAA!!!

What is the last letter of your middle name?
Technically, I have four names. One Christian name, my surname and both my chinese names. Which of them are middle again?

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?:
Always. (A)

Are you scared of flying?

What do you sleep in?
Clothes. A bed. In my sheets.

Who was the last person you kissed?
My mom.

Do you like funny people or serious people?
It depends. If the person's always fooling around when I want them to take me seriously, ain't that cool. People with no sense of humor sucks too. So, a little of both?

What are you listening to?
My noisy air-conditioner.

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
I don't do jewelry, sister.

What do you have planned for tonight?
Sleep early? I have to TRY sometime, right?

Is the last person you kissed older than you?
Well duh.

Do you have a favorite item of clothing?

Do you like messages or comments better?
Messages. Comments are for noobs.

Last movie you saw in theaters?
The Secret Lives of Pippa Lee, I think.

Last thing you ate?

What was last thing you drank?

Are you happy right now?
I'm... contented.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
A piece of mind.

Who makes you happiest right now?
Ha.. ha.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading some 'Sci-Fi Psychology' fiction. :P

Are you left handed?
I'm a proud rightie.

What is for dinner tonight?
Rice. I ALWAYS have rice for dinner.

What is the last thing you thought about?
Wouldn't that mean I'm dead or smth? Thinking of answering this survey.

When is your birthday?
December 28th.

Do you want to get married & have children one day?

Do you have to sleep with a television on?
Not the television, the computer.

Do you have any animal print clothing?
I think so. :S Dunno.

Are you a dare devil?
Pretty much, I guess.

What IM messanger do you use?
Windows Live Messenger.

What is your favorite food to smell while it is cooking?
Hahhhh. I don't even know how to answer this question because I love it all.

Except smelly tofu.

Whats your favorite flavor of tic tacs?

Who is your favorite serial killer?
Jack The Ripper. Mutilation, ftw.

How do you like your eggs?

Half boiled. HAH! TAKE THAT ALEX. Salmonella, salmonella.

Do you prefer to have male or female bosses?
I'm not a sexist.

Have you ever been pregnant?
No. The hell?

Have you ever ran into a parked car?
Yes. -.-

Do you play an instrument?

How many watts do you like your lightbulbs to be?
Enough to light my room.

Do you own a digital camera?

Have you ever had the falling dream?
Hell yeah! It was awesome. I was on a building, watching the flood below. I decided to jump, because dream-me is a complete idiot. I grabbed the telephone line and eventually, plunged into the angry river beneath me. I fell into a floating box. Randommmm.

Did you climb trees when you were younger?
Nope. Trees are for tree-people. I'm not a tree person.

Have you ever had a panic attack?
No. I'm as calm as a clam.

Or was the idiom 'dumb as a clam'?

Whatever, clams can't move for balls anyway.

Are you in a good mood today?

Do you have any weird superstitions?
Mmm, not really. But I don't really question these things. Part of me remains skeptical, part of my doesn't, y'know?

Are you dating the first person on your friends list?
Pssht, no.

Have you ever been electrocuted?
Yeah. I was a brainless kid. The speaker had those 'red wire, blue wire' thing and I thought it was cool. So I touched it. It shocked me.

I touched it again.

Then it got painful.

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
Yup. It's a giraffe-hippo cross.

Is it alright to curse in front of your parents?
I try not to. Respect, people. Respect.

Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?
Mike... Nope.

Do you think Barak Obama will make a good president?
I'm not into political shit.

No more questions...
Feel free to CTRL+C and CTRL+V it into your blog and answer it yourself.

SPEHS MERENS!!1!eleven!!

Till then.

November 2, 2009


Pretty much the word to sum up my day. Woke up this morning and the desire to fall back asleep was so immense, I felt I was sleeping on fluffy pink clouds and it was just devouring my body into it. Well, I woke up anyway, you know, responsibility and shit. There's nothing much to say about school except that it will always drain my sanity and make me feel like shit after I come home.

Sunday, came home from Singapore. Btw, will blog about that soon once I upload my pictures. Damn slept for 12 hours. I just stoned around the house till dinner time. Fortunately, I was pulled out of my deep depths of boredom by...


To Old Town. To eat some more. Specifically half boiled eggs. Damn. He wont stop ranting at me with this Salmonella shit. And yes, I did google it. Doesn't give you freakin' skin rashes, thank you. Imagine you're enjoying your two beautifully prepared half boiled eggs and thick toast and there he goes telling you about how these viruses contaminates the eggs you're putting in your mouth. Appetizing, huh?

Probably the only thing that's worth going to Old Town with him was his Kangaroo Testicles keychain. Hahaah life size.

Thanks, btw. I belanja next time. :D

Till then.

October 27, 2009

Since it has been a mundane day, I will give you an average post.

I was doing some random quizzes and I came across this result :-

The name of my punk band along with a quote by Sid Vicious of Sex Pistols.

His name is actually John Simon Ritchie. If I had a name like that, I'll probably change it too. Simon hahaha. No offense. ;P

Hmm, apart from that, I googled my name. Yeah, Alex, I googled my name. Just like youuuu! :D
It means 'Christ-Bearer' and it originated from Greece. Cool, eh? Did you know Kristy is a name of a village in Slovakia? ISNT THAT JUST SO AWESOME?

"Kristy is a small village and municipality in the Sobrance District in the Kosice Region of east Solvakia. Population : 300"
Courtesy of Weekay.

What else, what else. Meh, there's nothing much to blog about.

Till then.

October 24, 2009


IRONMAN! I've got balls of steeeeeeel!

Ironman is so awesome he pumps the last 'fuck you' laser beam right through your face! Haha. JAYKAY. Took me approx. 3hrs. It was a random surge of the need to drawwwww.

To JenYen : Iron Jaw! >;D

Okay okay, you can laugh at me now.

Till then.

October 22, 2009


October 21, 2009

Are you a RHCP fan? Yes? No? Yes? You should be.

I think this is the best Californication version EVAR. The intro is just mind boggling, gob smacking, incomprehensible... a total slap in the face! AND Anthony Kiedis is shirtless in the video hahahahahaa.

I stayed home today rather than sit in our school complex to suffocate in the humid enclosed space while watching the rehearsal for tomorrow's event. I forgot what the event was called. But honestly, it's not that I actually care what it's called. I don't care enough to ask, that's all. I mean, I would go to school if I had a book to read. Just that, I don't. I borrowed Sidney Sheldon's 'The Sky Is Falling' from my mom and that 400 paged novel was supposed to last me at least a week.

But it didn't.

Instead, I finished it in less than a day. Why? Because in school, the rate of boredom is beyond epic proportions. Especially when you don't have classes. So basically, we just sit in the hall, watching the clouds float by with more life than we do.

Anyway, dinner calls.

Till then.

October 20, 2009

Red : Me
Blue : Justin

How's Alanna?

She has fever. She brought her medicine to school.

Did you take care of her?



So why was she (referring to his girlfriend) angry today?

She wasn't angry, she had fever.

Then why did she scold you?

I don't know.

But you told me she scolded you.

I heard Koh talking to her. I was on the phone with him. Then he told me she likes me. Then I chat with her on facebook. I said, "I heard you talking to Koh that you like me". Then she said, "NO!!!!!". Then I said tell the truth. Then she wont tell the truth. I keep asking her to tell the truth but she wouldn't listen.

Then she said on Facebook, "I have no heart to talk to you anymore!" and she changed her mood to 'angry'.


I forgot some so it's ok.

This is hard-core proof that girlfriends are extremely difficult. Even my brother can't handle them. And she's only 8. Hahahahahahahaa!

Jesus don't love meeeee.


Nothing. The Kings of Leon song.

Till then.

October 19, 2009

Every time I blog, I always forget to type out a title. Two reasons why I enjoy forgetting it:-

1. Hate to think about what the title should be
2. Typing out a title ruins the whole mystery of the blog post

So yes, I'm just going to leave it be. Besides, it's too small. I bet you don't even take notice. Now, you must be thinking why am I posting so very often nowadays. Well, let's see. There aren't anymore classes in school, there isn't anything interesting to watch on the idiot box and I read almost every damn book in this house. There isn't anything to do apart from lying around the house and making a piece of shit out of myself. So I blog. There isn't anything much to blog about lately as nothing has been happening.

Do you know how bored I am? I mean, the level of brain-crushing boredom here is insane. I am so bored, I'm blogging about it. Dammit! I was so bored today, I found a termite on a cat and pathetically made a big deal out of it only to learn that the only person in the living room was my sister and her tv show was more interesting. I was sitting on the floor, facing the window, watching a cat milk her kittens, listening to the dogs bark at some floating branch and thinking about what am I going to do next. Only thing is, I stayed there for quite sometime and then I went to the kitchen. Not what I planned to do.

I opened the refrigerator at least five times in vain because there wasn't anything to eat in there except some barbeque cheese slices. I hate cold cheese. So I paced around the kitchen (as if that'll magically make some food appear). After about five minutes, I walked out.

I don't remember what happened after that because I turned my brain off. Probably the only thing I did today that made sense because why would I want to stay conscious just to witness my being turn into nothing more than a piece of fungus.

Then I took a shower and here I am. Don't know why I'm telling you but it doesn't matter. I'm just typing out the first thing that comes to my brain. So here it goes. I'm leaving. Because there isn't anything more to talk about. Listverse if giving me crappy updates. I mean, I don't want to know what the First Ladies of the world did. Pssht.

I'm off to go wallow in the void.

Till then.

October 18, 2009



The header is up.

Yesterday, I intended my nap to be about an hour but turned out, I slept for five hours straight. Woke up at midnight, stoned, hungry and tired. I stumbled downstairs into the kitchen and prepared some instant noodles in a cup. Yeah seems like everything is in a cup nowadays.

Who knew consuming instant noodles in the middle of the night can result in a fecal build up the size of a bus in your bowels the next morning? Well, we all learn something new everyday.

This is going to be a quickie 'cause I've got steamboat waiting for me downstairs.

Till then.

October 17, 2009

I found this really amazing website which allows you to post all your daily mess ups. It's so freakin' random. xD

I was reading listverse and I came across this list about bizzare medical treatments. Here is number 6, because I have never heard of it :-

The term urine therapy (also urotherapy, urinotherapy or uropathy) -they even have a scientific name for it lolll- refers to various applications of human urine for medicinal or cosmetic purposes, including drinking of one’s own urine and massaging one’s skin with one’s own urine. A practitioner of urine therapy is sometimes called a psychopath. Just kidding, they are actually called uropaths. There is no scientific evidence of a therapeutic use for urine. Urinating on jellyfish stings is a common folk remedy, but has no beneficial effect and may be counterproductive, as it can activate nematocysts remaining at the site of the sting. Urine does contain substances that are beneficial, such as Vitamin C; however, these substances have been excreted because they could not be used or because they were present in excess, so re-taking them will just result in re-excretion. The most obvious physiological effect of drinking urine, at least when it is taken on an empty stomach, is bowel movement (sometimes in the form of diarrhea) due to the laxative action of hypertonic solution of urea.

Here's number 2 :-

What is this in the picture you ask? Why, it is shit! :D

This medical treatment is called Fecal Bacteriotherapy. (bacteriotherapy isn't in the dictionary so it has a red line under it. *sadface*)

Fecal bacteriotherapy is used in the treatment of certain inflammatory bowel disorders such as ulcerative colitis. The treatment comes in form of a series of enemas given to the patient over a five day period. In order to create the liquid used in the enema, a “poop donor” is needed. In other words, a sample of poop is taken from a healthy person (usually a relative of the patient) and turned into a liquid for anal insertion. The idea is that the healthy bacteria from the poop provider will grow in the sick person and heal them. What is perhaps even more revolting than an enema of someone else’s poop, is the fact that the liquid can also be delivered via a tube in the nose.

Poop donor hahahahahaha.

Number 1 was smoking but I already knew that. So here's a gob smacking picture of a man with a hard-core ambition to smoke his brain dry.

Till then.

October 15, 2009


I iz ze dontch liek cheeldren.

Yeh. So they are cute. Maybe that's the only thing their good for. You know, just to stare at and say 'Awwww'. The problem is; gates of hell opens when they aren't in deep slumber.

Before they grow into a toddler, all they do is sleep and shit. Then you gotta change their diaper, shower them, powder their little asses, brush their non-existant teeth, feed them, burp them and bounce them around of hours until those little monsters sleep. Besides that, the only reason their mouth opens is to scream on top of their lungs for no particular reason, then cry. Don't get me started on their other hole.

I salute the genius who invented diapers. HOTDAMN! They bunch o' shittin' machines! It's like a little portable poop factory.

When they grow into speaking toddlers, all they do is scream to get your attention. Parents resort to giving them toys to occupy their attention. Sadly, it only works for five seconds. They go to school and come home with a new word which is highly inappropriate in the house. Not to mention they touch everything. I mean EVERYTHING. They even put it in their mouths. Whatever the size, big or small, they'll just shove it in there.

Sometimes the bearing of children baffles me. Isn't the world already over populated? The more the people, the more the destruction.

I'm talking generally. It's what I think anyway. :D

October 13, 2009

Sorry, Jenyen! :P

October 12, 2009

What's red, furry and looks like shit?

So yesterday, Justin and I visited the neighborhood pet store. It's so hard to explain how he grows more and more ... un-kid-like everyday.

We saw this miniature toy poodle curled up at the corner in its prison cell, sleeping. It was deep red in colour. In case you've been living under a rock and don't know what a toy poodle looks like, don't worry :

Me : So, what do you think? Is it cute or what?

Justin : It's SOOOO kyoooot! Like a piece of shit!

I wuz all 'wat did yao sae?' and him wuz all 'looks like a piz of shyte'.

Actually, he said it was because of how it was curled up like a ball with its red (brown to justin, because I'm pretty sure his shit ain't red) fur sticking out.

Yup. It was going for RM 1430. What an expensive piece of shit.

Till then.

October 11, 2009


Yes Phil, I am Lisa. :O

October 10, 2009

Testing If I Disabled ze Title.

I didn't realize my previous post was the 100th post...

Doesn't feel like anyting. I was planning from the beginning to type out something like "YEAH MY 100th POST IN YO FACE!" .. But no.

So I was fixing up my blogskin last night at around 1am till 4. This little task of re-writing the whole damn HTML layout really takes a toll. This time, there isn't much of a fancy artsy banner and normally, I'd tell you that I'll put it up soon when I find the time but I'm done saying things I know I'm not going to do. So, I'm not going to jinx it. In a way, it's like saying I'm not doing it which drives me to actually make an effort of creating one.

I kinda lost all my links too. I actually copied and pasted my previous blogskin html on Notepad but being the typical me, I closed it without saving it. I guess you already saw that coming, didn't you?

Okay, okay fine. So I AM pretty predictable. Wooooooo you get a trophy!

I'm actually pretty pissed from losing my hit counter or whatever that thing is called. I had up to two thousand views and BAM! it's GONEE. Oh well, I can't stay mad at myself for THAT long now can I? :D

I'm rounding my hits off to 2000.
Till then.
K. I changed my blogskin because the previous one was hurting your delicate baby eyes.
Yo. I'm in the midst of an exam heat and I'm blogging in the middle of the night. Hahahahaahaha.

I need to get a new purse. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the one I'm currently using.. it's just that I hate to fold my money. I like it all flat and crisp. Don't know why though. They just look nicer and keeping nice things in sight is... nice. So basically, I'll spend less. I just think it looks ugly when folded, like it makes a horrible 'V' shape.

Another 'wtf' factor.

This relates to the recent PMR exam. So everyone's cracking their brains to study lately. Nothing wrong with that. What sucks is how they wish you 'good luck' when they don't mean it. Why do they say it just for the sake of saying it? I've received quite a number of insincere wishes before my papers.

Don't say it if you don't mean it. It's hell annoying because some people are just so transparent.

So, I was on the phone with Selviah. She was tellin' me about her stalkers and all when she screamed through the line. And I mean a full-blown high pitched screech. Turns out it was a lizard. Hahahaahahahaha. Did you know that when many people are asked what insects disgust them, they'll say a lizard.

A lizard is a reptile, my friends. Not an insect.

Btw, why is 'why' such a stupid quesiton? No, it's not a stupid question. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

October 7, 2009

Backseat Cook

A wife was making fried eggs for her husband for breakfast. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful... Careful!!! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my God! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful... Careful!!! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

The wife stared at him and asked, "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the car."

Haha, a random joke.

I am tired.

October 4, 2009

What makes you tick? Seriously, what makes you blow your top? Because normally, it's the fucking people with shit attitudes that walk around demanding the world to fall on their knees for them.

October 2, 2009

Is it still considered a crime to kill your karaoke-singing neighbours? It doesn't help at all with that insipid voice.

September 20, 2009



September 17, 2009

I saw a jungle gym and I thought about what it was like to be a kid again.

Comme un grand enfant.

September 15, 2009

See what I tell you about people and disappointment?

They're never good for anything else.

September 10, 2009

For those who have a younger sibling, especially boys, will relate to me.

I got my tetanus shot in school today. I bloody hate needles. To add to my anxiety, a classmate fainted right after she got her jab, which is like right before my turn. Wtf man. So it's like a small tiny red dot now, laughing at me because it still aches. When I came home, I showed to my brother...

"Hey, Justin, look. I got an injection today."

Walks over


So I lifted my sleeve.

"Where? Where?"

I pointed to the little red dot on my arm.

"This one ah?"

And he freakin' jabbed it with his stubby finger. Sigh. Boys will be boys. Especially mischevious 8-year-olds.

I told Kevin about it and I pointed out that MOST boys, especially around the age of 8, are curious little buggers. I do admit, my brother is a handful but it's fun with him around. So I asked Kevin if he was like my brother and he told me "I don't think so, all I do is poke tadpoles".

Hahahahahahahaaaahahahahahahaha TADPOLES FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

September 8, 2009

We're just a figment of my wild imagination.

Whuzzup, whuzzup?!

I joined the stupid poster competition crap. I mean, I do like drawing. Don't get me wrong. It's just that I hate to limit myself when I'm doing something I like. You know, as I sit here at my desk and ponder, I realized what a shit job I did. C'mon. They gave us three freakin' hours. Three! I can't paint anything within three hours that doesn't look like hippopotamus shit!

While I take a moment to wallow in my deep depths of regret, feel free to exit the browser.

Okay, I'm done wallowing. :D

I've been so drained lately, especially in school. Particularly in the morning. That's why I looked so stoned. It's like I can't sleep till 2am but of course, eventually I do force myself to doze off, and I wake up at 5 freakin' 30. Sigh.

Have you ever some across someone soooo shittish, you just want to nuke their horrid faces? I have. I have a lot and I'm beginning to believe that resistance is futile.

Hurricaneeeeee yoz facez.

September 4, 2009

I am eating my lunch and drinking iced milo because I'm so cool like.

I have to admit, I'm kinda appalled by how many people still read this crap-ridden blog. Thank you, thank you for wasting your time here even when I don't update. :D

I don't remember when I started enjoying reading. I mean, during my primary school years, yeah I read in school everyday but I just thought it was pointless. Somewhere along the way... my sister was telling about this uh-may-zeng book she read. And I was a picture-book kid. No picture, no interest. I saw the book in my room (I always see her things in my room) so I picked it up. It was hell thick.

I read the first page. The book was called 'Where Rainbows End' by Cecelia Ahern.

When I was 12, I picked up a book called Darren Shan. I didn't know anything about it but the cover looked badass so I was like 'Hey, I'm going to read this'. The whole 'Don't judge a book by its cover' platypus shit doesn't apply for me in the literal meaning. :D

So, I read book after book. That's where my interest in vampires iniciated. Hey, I was 12. You know, those awkward adolescent years. Eventually, I stopped at the ninth book but there were 12 books. Never really considered the reason. I just stopped.

Now, after a three-year hiatus, I bought the last trilogy of The Saga of Darren Shan. Lol much. I feel like a kid again. The whole fascination with gut wrenching vampire action gets me everytime.

Sabrina asked me what I was eating. God knows why she'd ask that while she's fasting because I always have a habit of exaggerating how delicious the food is. Haha.

So I said it was 'Lou shee(shi, whatever makes you happy) fun(fan, again)'. My mom always called it rat's tail noodles because of its appearance, hence its name.

Do you know what I hate? I hate people who wear the music they listen to like a plague. Geez, okay I get you're badass shoving bands or artists in people's face. It gets kinda old. Especially in blogs.

Imagine a nice cheerful day. You're listening to your favourite tunes, oblivious to any other sound produced by cheap machinary. You go 'Hey, I think I'll read some blogs today! :D' So, you open a few links at once, because you rock at saving precious time. Then all kinds of different music disrupts your peace. Worst part is, you can't find the source of the blaring music.

Well, at least I can't most of the time.

This is one bloody long post. At least compared to the ones I've written a few weeks back. Take your time reading it.

Till then.

August 30, 2009

This is some badass video.

I almost didn't want to warn you that it might make you gag, but I pity you people so... yeah. You will probably barf your bowels out.

Watch if you have the BALLS!


August 22, 2009

I is bored.

August 19, 2009

Just finished reading Digital Fortress. Shit man, one of the best thriller novels everrrr.

I was watching Oprah last night. I realized; everytime I flick through Hallmark, it's always Oprah. And she's always around fat people. I don't know if it's just me, but every Oprah episode I watch involves fat people. It's like she has this sick fascination with them. I mean, yah everyone knows she's a little on the chubby side. Maybe she just wants to surround herself with obese teenagers just to make herself feel a little better.

I'm sure watching them cry their eyes out on national television makes you feel all warm and cozy inside, Oprah.

When I was in Bangkok, I realized something as well. Cab drivers there are damn anal with their gas. I mean, just go to any gas station. Even if there is a ridiculously long line there, they'll just queue up, eager to feed their hungry tanks. It's like, all hell will break lose if they don't get their precious gas. Anal. Anal. Anaaaal. No wonder we're short on natural resources.

Till then.

August 17, 2009

August 16, 2009

Lollerz. Okay, so it's the weekend and I pretty much wasted my time slacking off. I like slacking off. I glued myself to the idiot box for half a day and here are three things that I learned :-

1.) Discovery Channel uses white people to reenact Asians, which I think is hilarious. They make all Asian men look like noobs.

2.) The coolest show on History Channel is The Universe.


Yeah, about number 3, there are just TOO many. I flick from one channel to another and every ten minutes I hear how brighter, whiter skin makes you look beautiful.

So what about them people with skin that isn't white? Aren't they beautiful as well? Apparantly not. I don't remember what product was this from but they said it can help 'reduce the yellowish complexion'. Shows how you people are so ashamed to be Asian. Tsk tsk. I don't mind if you're jaundice. That's a bad reason to be yellow.

But c'mon people. Feeling ugly? No problem! Just slap some whitening cream on your face.

They make it sound so wrong to be any other colour than white. Racism. I laugh at you shallow minded people.

The advertistments are trying to say:

"For the ugly people with low self esteem."

It's just that, they don't want to hurt your feelings so you will buy their products. :D

Look at that packaging. 'Whitening Treatment Cream'. Sounds like anyone who has skin any other colour than white have some disease.

So, if the idiot box tells you that being tan and brown is the new 'beautiful', would you actually throw all your whitening products and start getting fake tans?

It happens.

August 15, 2009

Q: If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

A: The cat would land on its feet as it can twist mid-air to ensure thay land feet down. Toast only has mythical powers to land butter side down.

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theismann. Former NFL football quarterback. Hahah, point proven, Joe.

Excuses for skipping work:

1. My kid has a rash all over, and the vet closes early today.

2. I think I left the refrigerator on.

3. I am going on a date with a sadomasochistic necrophile.

4. I've... I.. I am.. I'm not.. I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS!

6. I've got three therapy sessions today.

7. I'm going to my wife's engagement party.

8. A friend of mine is dying and I have to go to the hospital.

9. A friend of mine is dead and I have to go to the funeral parlor.

10. A friend of mine is reincarnating and I have to go to the zoo.

11. I'm getting married, and I have to get an AIDS test.

12. I'm getting married, and I have to figure out with whom.

Some people are just bad liars.