My thumb has a huge hideous purple bruise because I did not consider the consequences of leaving a Nerf gun with mother.

It all started when my brother was gobsmacked by a Nerf commercial on television, he decided to get one himself. "ITS NERF, OR NOTHING!" So to the toy store it is. As usual, when you put a mother who showers her beautiful son with unconditional love and a noisy I-want-it-my-way-or-die son together, you get nothing but hasty, illogical decisions. As we entered the toy store, I walked around to examine the aisles. My brother, unlike me, dashes straight to the aisle that has big bold letters that spell N-E-R-F. Okay, he doesn't wanna consider other awesome toys, fine by me. I wasn't the one paying anyway. He wanted a gun which shoots dart and shit but he didn't know WHICH.

As usual, I was there to rant about how nasty those little contraptions are because I will normally be the target for my destructive younger brother that hates me because I frequently ask him to study. Not only that, in a year, hundreds of dollars will be spent just supplying him the rubber darts because children are just prone to losing small objects. "PICK UP YOUR TOYS!" doesn't apply to my brother unless you have a cane in hand. His lip started quivering. OH GREAT! He's crying! So I had to go on and on about how it's okay to choose whatever you like because children aren't supposed to be sad in a toy store.

Moving on, he chose the one which is meant for two Nerfheads. Who's gonna be the other Nerfhead that would entertain him so he wont cry? Why, me of course!

At first, I was reluctant to run around with a plastic gun shooting my brother down because I will always win, but eventually I gave in. I ran around the house with a plastic gun shooting my brother down.

"Don't shoot his head!" - Warning from my mother. But did you know how many times I got owned in the face because his aiming sucked balls? People, it does hurt when the impact of the dart collides with your face especially when it has a Velcro piece on the top of it.

"Hey ma, do y'wanna try?" I gave her my Nerf gun. BIG MISTAKE! She went into a shooting frenzy and took me down with her awesome shooting skillz paired with her evil, insipid laughter. I was in shock with her maniacal laughter ringing in my ears and it does hurt when you get shot by a rubber dart, especially when you expect it the least. So I ran, but I didn't know my mom was lady-Flash in disguise. I fell (like and awful noob) on the hard marble floor and somehow, my thumb connected with the floor first. So BAM! I have a retarded looking thumb and when I press the spacebar, feels like it's on fire.

Thanks a lot, Hasbro, for making my life hell. I blame you for my retarded purple left thumb.

Till then.