June 4, 2009

Well now. It's been forever since I opened my inbox and sometimes, I just wish that people's head will spontanously explode after they send moronic chain-mails. Seriously, if you can't find something better to do while squirming 'Oh, the girl with no eyes is out to get me!', go stick your head in the oven.

I have 910 unread emails.

I opened this: Am I YOUR BeSt FrIeND?

Okay, first of all, why would you idiots wanna type like that? Does it make you feel fancy? Well, I hate to burst your bubble but it makes you look like an idiot.

The first thing it said in bold red letters was 'would you send it back!' Okay, it's not even a question mark at the end of the sentence. So technically, it's not a question. How do you dumbasses manage to breathe?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?

Aww, poor little baby has no friends. Maybe you should stop wasting your already meaningless life emailing people and start making friends.

What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness?

Okay, let me get this straight...

I can't. If I were truly happy, emphasizing on the word TRULY, why would there be sadness? And who in the right mind actually COUNTS their sadness? Seriously, wtf?


What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?

Wow, not much you can do there huh, buddy? Well I guess all you can do is waste your bleak life forwarding chainmails. :D

So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again, you are special to me and you made a difference in my life.

You know, if someone actually took this seriously, they'd go 'Oh, wow. I'm so special to him/her, they wouldn't even wanna talk to me again!'

I look up to you, respect you and truly cherish you.

Yeah, I get that alot. Don't need no chainmail to say it.

Send it to all your friends, no matter how often you talk or how close you are and send it to the person who sent it to you.

Do you people really do whatever a chainmail asks you to? Send it back to the person who sent it to you. If you do, you're an idiot.

'The chainmail asked me to send it to the person who sent it to me. Okay then, I'll just be a blinded fool and click forward.'

Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them and you will never leave their heart.
Old friends. God, I need to do something less painful than read this, like shoot myself.

Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this email and take comfort in knowing that someone out there cares about you and always will.

Oh yeah, when you feel like you have NO FRIENDS, go open that letter and feel all fuzzy! In the end, you'd still have no friends. I can't imagine what idiot would wanna be yours. :D

Seriously, this is just sad. I'm not even going to post the lame poem that came with the email. I might die of a seizure.

If one of you shitbrains actually find meaning in this, email me. I'd wanna know how you people think.

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